Ellen and Gladys

Although I work from home and often get accused of it, I seldom get to watch day time television. The few times I do get to watch it, I have to say that Ellen's show is absolutely outstanding. She is a great person who is just absolutely exploding with laughter and happiness. There are far too few people like her in the world.

This clip absolutely cracks me up though, and is worth watching all the way through. It's tempting to stop about a minute it because it's a bit dry, but just wait, it's worth it.

The Comedy, sometimes it writes itself

ME: ok, so I've been in a debate with someone over the exact "intentions" of the phrase "bless his little heart"
ME: when someone says that, what does it make you think
OTHERPERSON: Awww, they're really trying hard but they'll never succeed
ME: (and I don't mean it in the "endearing aunt" sort of way)
ME: THATSWHATITHOUGHT
ME: they're retarded!
ME: ... the "they" in that last statement referred to the subject of the "BHLH" uttering
ME: like Corky in that f*cking Facts of Life Show
ME: or whatever it was called

I'm just really glad OTHERPERSON didn't follow up that conversation with "Bless your little heart."

Awesomeness like this is sometimes hard to quantify

Can you spot my tan lines?

Ohio State is Loses the Sh*tty Hair Contest, Also

A coif destined to have a dun broked down car parked in the lawn.

Be thankful evolution granted you a rib cage

Watching the National Championship Game (yes, I still expected Ohio State to make an appearance out of habit) I was actually clenching my jaw after watching this soul crushing hit. I'm pretty sure Major Wright started running somewhere deep in the Everglades in order to gather up enough steam to deliver this shot.

This can not be made up.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2008/dec/16/hoff-rocks-las-vegas-bowl/

Las Vegas Bowl.
BYU vs Arizona.
The Hoff sings the Anthem.
Me, feloniously drunk on the BYU side of the field.

This is like a new show in Las Vegas: South Park Live.