The Comedy, sometimes it writes itself

ME: ok, so I've been in a debate with someone over the exact "intentions" of the phrase "bless his little heart"
ME: when someone says that, what does it make you think
OTHERPERSON: Awww, they're really trying hard but they'll never succeed
ME: (and I don't mean it in the "endearing aunt" sort of way)
ME: THATSWHATITHOUGHT
ME: they're retarded!
ME: ... the "they" in that last statement referred to the subject of the "BHLH" uttering
ME: like Corky in that f*cking Facts of Life Show
ME: or whatever it was called

I'm just really glad OTHERPERSON didn't follow up that conversation with "Bless your little heart."

Awesomeness like this is sometimes hard to quantify

Can you spot my tan lines?

Ohio State is Loses the Sh*tty Hair Contest, Also

A coif destined to have a dun broked down car parked in the lawn.

Be thankful evolution granted you a rib cage

Watching the National Championship Game (yes, I still expected Ohio State to make an appearance out of habit) I was actually clenching my jaw after watching this soul crushing hit. I'm pretty sure Major Wright started running somewhere deep in the Everglades in order to gather up enough steam to deliver this shot.